Wednesday, 27 June 2007

Motoring along for June in the scrapping department

I doubled my LO goal for June to 10 LO's since I seemed to be on such a roll. Here's the 6th and 7th ones and no. 8 is still sitting on the table awaiting the finishing touches. If I manage all 3 challenges this weekend for the Divas CC that will be 11/10 (yes, you read that right!). Not a bad effort for me if I may say so. I think I'd even say I was a serious scrapper now (hehehe). Ok, so here they are ...

I fiddled around with this one and am still not happy with the result but I asked the Diva girls for some help to finish it off, especially the chipboard (which I daubed with walnut ink then dry brushed with the green paint) so I've yet to try their helpful suggestions.

I do like the title though which is based on the Lee Kernagan song.

This LO on the right I scraplifted from one of the lovely gals over at Scrapboxx who goes by the name of "pinkscrapper" (I'm sorry I dont know your real name but I hope you dont mind that I've done this and mentioned you here). The original LO is very striking in green with a B&W photo but I dont think I've done too bad a job with this pink effort.

On a completely non-scrapping note, I seem to have fallen off the wagon in regards to PND or perhaps it's just depression in general although it all seems to stem from me trying to cope with the whole motherhood thing.
I'll spare you the boring details but knowing I had to do something about my state of mind I actually went to the Dr last week and despite NOT wanting to take "happy pills" he somehow had me walking out of there with a script for said pills AND an appointment with the psychologist in July which I am also not keen on. I actually went straight to the chemist then to get the script filled but when it came time to take that little tablet on Friday morning at breakfast do you think I could do it? Well I sat there frozen like an idiot for a good 20 minutes, trying not to cry in front of DD, before DH packed up the tablet and put it away to try again another day. I felt stupid all day long, for so many reasons, and if anything got more depressed about the whole state of things in my world.
So on Saturday morning I forced myself to take it. I still feel uncomfortable taking it but I have another appointment with the Dr this Friday so will discuss it more then.
I am contemplating investigating Naturopathy but one that's been recommended is a 200+km round trip away and heaven knows what the cost would be (consultations, herbs/potions etc).

I am hoping that by mentioning this whole "thing" (depression) to people that it will become easier for me to accept because right now I do not want the horrible label put upon me. I dont want sympathy or anything like that, I just want to be MYSELF but I really dont know who that is anymore. Since having the kids I seem to have lost my identity yet I couldn't really define my "identity" as such pre-kids. You see how confusing this all is? I need to be happy, comfortable and accepting within myself, be calmer and more content.
I'm not entirely convinced that taking a bunch of happy pills for a year will let me achieve that. Sure, it might alter the chemicals in my brain to supposedly "normal" levels again but ... hmmm, I'm getting worked up and confused right here actually so I think I'll go do some scrapping (or mail art actually - see Divas for all the detail on this addictive new slant on scrapping, its so cool).

If you haven't fallen asleep reading this far THANK YOU (and my apologies for such a long spiel).

Happy scrapping all ...


Leanne said...

Hi Helen, just wanted to say that your layout that you lifted looks awesome in the pinks. I love it. It is such a huge compliment when someone copies your work so thank you.
Leanne x x x

The Librarian said...

Love the LOs Helen... and hang in there - you know I am just an email away!

xx J.

jode said...

Looks great HElen!
I have made you a present but have lost your email somehow. Can you email me so i can email you LOL!